SidewaysSunday, March 6, 2005 | 9:47PM |
Am I somehow not enlightened enough because my immediate reaction to the movie Sideways is less than glowing? Wine bores me to the death, and the main character’s absolute misery throughout is nearly unbearable. Yes, yes, it supposedly proves its worth because I felt exactly how he was supposed to feel. I get that. But what I think (unfortunately) Hollywood has tapped into is that we do want to be entertained when we see a movie. I don’t mean every film should have a Steven Spielberg ending and I should walk out of the theater with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. And I do want to empathize with a character. I just can’t imagine wanting to buy that film. What would a second viewing do for me? What would it do for you?
I’ve been rejected from two schools now: University of New Mexico (ranked #1) and Arizona State University (ranked #5… really wanted to go there). Of course I’m bummed. Why would I have spent hundreds of dollars on all those applications and fees and supplies and slides and processing and of course there’s the time. And yet I don’t really care all that much.
I can’t say I did exceptionally in school when it came to grades. In fact, I did what it took to get by. And I don’t regret it, because I put the focus on what was important in the end. If I could do it again, I would go to an art school where they don’t make you take all the junk classes to get a “well-rounded education”. And the very fact that I breezed through 4 semesters of art history with very little knowledge of the history of art (and more specifically and importantly, the history of PHOTOGRAPHY) is ridiculous. And while my university granted me a diploma, the classes were not challenging enough to actually fail me. And I still passed.
But the photography classes were worth it. I do regret not putting more into my basic design classes. And I wish like crazy that they had actually designed the basic art classes to really challenge students and not make them feel like they were living in a vacuum free of all artistic expression. We don’t need to do it because it’s what you have to do to get to the next level. There needs to be reason. There needs to be purpose behind every project, and it needs to be obvious and relevant and compelling and interesting and NOT JUST A PROJECT.
I hate the fact that thousands of dollars that I have not yet earned went to the hours that didn’t really matter. But in the end, it was completely my fault. And at the same time, I’m more than happy that I took the path that I did, because everything might (MIGHT) be different if I had gone a different direction. And right now I’m quite happy with all the wrong turns and mistakes. I can only look to the future and the present and know that the lofty goals aren’t so lofty in the end. They’re just what happen eventually if I make them happen and I don’t stop and I don’t give up. What’s the point of giving up? They say (over and over and over) that (insert number, probably high)% of life is showing up. They say that the artists that really make it in the long run aren’t always the best. They’re just the ones that stuck with it.
Barring some unforeseen circumstance(s), I plan to stick with my goals unless I see something better. I plan to stick with this MFA applying thing. I have two schools left to hear back from, and if I get rejected from those, it won’t be a sign. Wait, yes it will. The sign will be just like last time. Something else is coming up. It’s not part of the plan, but nothing good ever really seems to be. It’s certainly proof that life is awesome and worth living. Because how fun is knowing what’s ahead?
My apologies for the lack of flow. I had intended this to stop back at that first paragraph originally.
“The Hollister guy exemplifies the surfer image. He brings energy to whatever he does. He is cool, has a certain “x-factor” that makes him someone his friends want to be like. He is constantly finding new ways to style his clothes to feflect the California lifestyle.”
My brother posted that on his little aim profile thing that I know every one of you aim users check obsessively (especially when someone’s away). I’m pretty certain that he posted that quote to show how stupid the company that he works for (along with, what, 2 other jobs, Ryan?) is. But I like the one part about “He brings energy to whatever he does.” You really can’t go wrong with that. I wish I did it more often, and I like to think I try, but why don’t we try to make the best of every situation more often? Sometimes I’d rather sulk and be miserable than just put on a good front, even though I know that 9 times out of 10 just acting happier will (gasp!) lead to me actually being happier. Don’t believe that? I dare you to try it. And I don’t mean the fake smile garbage. Just try to enjoy the unenjoyable.
Comments
i want us to be online at the same time so we can talk SO badly. i agree with your journal entry. i feel the same way about 99.5% of my classes that i’ve taken. in light of everything that’s happen to me last week, your second to last paragraph strikes a chord with me. God definitely has the opportunity to take us whenever, but he still has us here for a reason. And apparently, we still have great things to accomplish. anyways, before this become an essay…i’ll stop. :)
amanda | Wednesday, March 9, 2005 | 12:03AM
All Content © Walker Pickering